Wednesday, July 30, 2008.

iwonderifanybodycanpullmeoutoftheneverending
blackabyss.ifeelmentallydrained.cryinghelps?
ihavenoideawhatimfeelingnow.ifeellikemybody
isanemptyshell.ifeelasifiwasbleeddry.1:59ami'm
stillcrying.

{ 10:59 AM }

{ 10:38 AM }

Monday, July 28, 2008.

from yesterday till 5am in the morning....

OMG!!!! i went home and slept! all the wat till 353am ! then i was like...OMG!!!!i din do anything...so i woke up and started with PTH first...made a list of equipement on board. i am goin to go on to find pictures for ITB now...and its 506 in the morning...makes me think back on the days on the cruise. haha...miss those times...so fun lah...

oh ya...yesterday during our 2nd break...we went guild house...to play tieti(is that how its spelt?) i think i know how to play...i think...and ena...congrats for seeing him! it was fun!

hai my econs.(add in soul shaking sobs here). im glad that lusia thinks im an ok student...most of the time ive been said to be like inattentive, talkative...and my comments always end with she can do better if she pays attentions in class if she can STOP reading her storybooks in class....the teachers think that others read does no neccessary mean that i will read in class....granted, i do read in chinese class at times...but i was very sure the teacher never noticed.

rite...i digressed.

i LOVe my lovelies.
i am shallow...ya..he IS pretty good looking.

{ 2:05 PM }

Saturday, July 26, 2008.

i came across a poem i wrote when i was in sec 1. on the 6/may/2004. looks like ive been writing sad poems since a young age! i cant seem to write happy stuff...

HEAVEN
The vast skies
above all lands
are clouds that gather
a holy meeting taking place.
The fire ball sleeps
while candle light burns.

While me standing in
staring at the bluish skies
my mind thinks about the life with the skies
where people live in joy.

Hidden in those iron bars
trapped i am in a lonely heart
wants the life of freedom
where rain falls, giggles heard
twisting and turning i move.
The life of freedom, happiness, movement and life.

yup..that was it!

i LOVe my lovelies!
rose. and peeps i promise i'll do the quiz in a while

{ 10:46 PM }

today generally --> hmmm...interesting...

i had S.M.A.R.T program today(YES-NEC). left my house at like 615am! i really wanted to sleep on thee train from sengkang to outram park...but..the glass panel was like oily and the temperature was freezing....so din slp....reached school at 745. Did attendence for RI etc etc...u really can feel that their from RI...and they eat like loads...

after S.M.A.R.T(which was ard 11am) went VIVO with Amanda(DTRM) to have lunch...she had to go sentosa and i was free sooo.... we went Marche... we like practically shared everything..first a swiss Röschti with sour cream lemon and salt. 2nd, we took 2 soups, clear vegetable broth and cream of salmon. it had bits of salmon in there. 3rd, we ordered a small dish of penne pasta. with seafood and homemade tomato sauce. there were like funny vegetables in there...Amanda took all the clam-ish stuffs(cos i dun eat) and i took the vegetables and some mushroom. we were like masacaring the 2 prawns we had(peel skin w/o using hands). we finished the solid foods and spotted some wine. we were like, "hey! u rmb PTH...." and we walked there, in our SP shirts and got a glass of Rose(14% alcohol content) and nobody questioned our age! HAH! after getting the glass of wine, we returned to our seat and proceeded to swirl, sniff and coat our tongue with the wine. the wine is kinda new. so there were no wine legs. this is the first time WE BOUGHT and DRANK OPENLY in PULBLIC(NO PARENTS)! awesome....

after that we went to get Amanda's cake and she went St.James Powerhouse the area and i went to Khatib for Nicole's event. I was assigned to be a HENNA drawer...i drew for people non-stop from 430pm to 810pm. thats like nearly 4hrs! (owwww my eyes) my hand is like covered in henna. dirty... good thing is...i took home lotsa freebies! LOTSA LOTSA! i couldn't draw facing the ppl so i moved to seat nxt to them. drawing for little kids' hands was like ARGH!!! their hands are too small...freedrawing lotsa...the henna place was like brimming with ppl lah. everybody wanted to get one at the END.

took nicole dad's care home.stephie was also in the car...she did henna too! OMG...my eyes are damn tired.*yawns* ate longan for fruits. yummy...

i LOVe my lovlies.
i do like rose...

{ 7:06 AM }

Friday, July 25, 2008.

I Scream..
no!
no!
no!

please no.
please don't leave me.
please care.
please stay with me.
don't die on me.

u lied!
u lied!
u lied!

u tore my heart.
shreds...
or u stabbed right through it.
staked.

agony!
agony!
agony!

it hurts.
it bleeds.
u tore it.
my blood is on your hands.

pain!
pain!
pain!

it all i can feel.
stoned.
its ripped.
tattered.

really?
can i believe it?
what am i doing to myself?
really?
i can forget it?

{hah...forget it i wil not and cannot}

{ 9:27 AM }

Thursday, July 24, 2008.

I Wanna Go.
i wanna leave.
i wanna go away.
i wanna run.

face it.
face your problems.

no.
don't wanna.
i wanna run.
i wanna go away.

i wanna hurt myself.
i wanna cry myself to sleep.
i wanna leave this place.
i wanna go.

please be serious.
leaving wont solve anything.

dun wanna.
dun wanna face it.
i wanna run.

onyx tears sliding down my cheek.
do they harden my reslove?
or do they seep into my heart.
a black abyss.

i wanna run...
i wanna go...
i wanna leave this place..
please let me...
i wanna go...

{let me...please...}

{ 9:35 AM }

I Fall
i fall.
i scream.
i cry.
i crumble.

i jump.
i laugh.
i smile.
i giggle.
but no more.

i fall.
i scream.
i cry.
i crumble.

once.
twice.
thrice.
whats gonna happen on the fourth time?

joy?
laughter?
death?
pain?
love?
hate?

u scream.
u shout.
u cry.

You fall...
You crumble...
and you're gone....

{im drowning}

{ 9:27 AM }

I'm Drowning.
there's just this little thing in my heart
it's about to break
it's shattering
it's hurting me
cutting through my flesh.

the thorns on the rose prick me.
a liquid ruby slides down my finger.
stare at it.
look at it.
a red ruby.

a boulder.
it's crushing me.
it's hurting me.
i can't breathe.
i can't talk.
i can't reply.
i can't answer.

a gem.
sliding down my cheek.
taste its saltiness.

feel the coolness of wind hitting your skin.
feel the gems rolling down.
pearls.

you clutch at your chest.
u can't breathe.
gems on your face.
liquid ruby.
a single rose.

You drown....

{i wanna drown}

{ 9:18 AM }

Wednesday, July 23, 2008.

today generally --> er....rite....

{ 6:16 AM }

Sunday, July 20, 2008.

today generally --> im just tired

like updating for today...i really wanna concentrate, and always do my best to...everytime i feel this pressing thing on my heart. i think thats how my mum will feel if she sees me in school. she must be so dissapointed.. it hurts. im sorry mum...

in ITB now...doing frontpage....blogging at the same time...i will work hard..KEEP MY EYES ON THE GOAL...FOCUS ON MY OUTCOME...

i LOVe my lovelies.
are you really serious about me?

{ 11:16 PM }

today generally --> wadever...
went chinatown today...i thought nicole's course work was pretty fun!
sorry for not updating...
currently hooked onto an english song sung by a korean... hear it... its my blog song

1000 Years of Love (Innocent Steps OST)

Moment, you came to my heart just by chance
To me you don’t seem to be a stranger
It took so long for you to finally find me

For a 1000 years
I’ve been waiting for you
More than million until fall in eternal love
Remember forever more
we stand for a 1000 years

Sometimes I know it will not be easy, yes true
Until then I will pray for our true love
Don’t ever forget my love
we will be together


For a 1000 years
I’ve been waiting for you
More than million until fall in eternal love
Remember forever more
we stand for a 1000 years


Don’t say
I don’t want to hear you saying ‘Goodbye’
Please promise me
you will always be my love

my love
For a 1000 years
I’ve been waiting for you
More than million until fall in eternal love
Remember forever more
we stand for a 1000 years

I’ve been waiting for you
More than million until fall in eternal love
Remember forever more
we stand for a 1000 years

i LOVe my lovelies...

{ 7:23 AM }

Monday, July 14, 2008.

오늘 --> 무료한 아침

아침에 있는 컴퓨터 레슨이 있었다. 나는 아직도 나의 handphone를 놓친다. 나는 everytime 나가 그것을 생각하는 울고 싶다. 나는 그것을 가 어디에 달라고 하는지 생각해 본다. 누구는 이미 그것을 판매했는가?

나는 나의 lovelies를 사랑한다.
당신은 어디에 나의 당신인가?
for those of u who need a translation.its abt me missing my HP.

{ 6:17 PM }

Sunday, July 13, 2008.

today generally --> crap

everytime i see my now phone. which is a motorola v3. i feel like crying. what is happening to my v9 razr now? is it ok? did someone seel it? i nearly offered a hundred dollars to anyone who found it yesterday. its like losing a child. all this thinking has cause me to lose my interest in studying. my dad even offered to let me use his new sony ericsson phone...thanks dad...i love u...but then that means u have to used back ur old phone. ur v9z got some problem. always auto shut down. love u dad.

i actually went back vivo yesterday to find my phone. i think i i left it in the toilet. i feel like knocking my head against the wall until it bleeds everytime i think of it. the stupidity. i didnt find it. if anyone out there reads my blog...and has found my phone, pls return it to me...its important. its part of me. it must have all my pictures and songs and contacts in there. i just might give u a 100 dollars for it...

i am entitled to think about my phone for a longer time...
my friend says its a sign for me to get the iPhone.

{ 3:29 AM }

Saturday, July 12, 2008.

yesterday generally --> wonderful in the beggining and SUCKED like shite right at the end.

1) I LOST MY PHONE. I LOST MY PHONE. I LOST MY DARLING SHINY AND PRETTY AND NEW PHONE.

i had a good cry over it. the phone was so damn expensive. it was the 1st expensive phone my parents trust me with. and yet i lost it. i actually lost it. the phone has all my memories my pics my songs. parts of my life that i could never replace. i loved my phone. i dont feel the shiny smooth surface of my phone anymore. i feel like a have lost a huge part of heart. call me a techno geek or wad....i love my phone.. its like me losing my phone is more painful than breaking up w bf.

its like this huge chunk of my heart is like carved out. i cant breathe...

i still love my phone.

{ 8:51 PM }

Thursday, July 10, 2008.

today generally --> nearing great!

sorry for not updating for the past few days...been busy and stuff.

there was only one lesson [ PTH tut] then go home.... at 11! instead, we went to city hall marina for SEOUL GARDEN...omg...u just have to look at my table and u can tell that we are all cleaniness freaks!!! after eating me and kelvin started cleaning the table![stacking up plates, wiping table etc etc...] very full...i totally regret wearing tight shirt at that point of time.however...

1st: went shopping around marina square in heels!...one portion of fats burned off...like round and round...all the a bit high quality shops...

2nd: had dance sport in sch...second portion of fats burned off...did the rumba today[nicole it's not lumba...] front hip replace hip side body hip... rotate hips....my legs feel like jelly now....

as for the other parts of fats... waiting for other activities to burn it off...yup...have to do the PTH case study and confirm the gathering plan and make the thingy*...=D

i LOVe my lovelies.
stuff to do. stuff to do...

{ 7:34 AM }

Sunday, July 6, 2008.

aujourd'hui généralement --> matin pas mal

J'avais l'Économie ce matin. nous avons passé par quelques questions dans la classe de travaux dirigés. Mme. Tan a aussi partagé quelques histoires avec de grandes morales que je suis sûr de partager avec mes participants pendant le camp.

la possession de ma pause maintenant. n'a pas eu envie de manger beaucoup. juste avait des fruits. et décidé à blog.

j'aime mon lovlies.
je suis insensé. je vais écrire mon roman.

{ 7:34 PM }

yesterday generally --> saddening. enlightening

i went to safra country club yesterday. couldnt swim so went to play pool instead. the area was north pole-ish. my muscles felt frozen up. studied with my brother at tables. there was this little boy, he kept disturbing me and my bro during our game. damnirritating.

i just found out that my retest is on tue. not mon. qiong....

sending serene off tomorrow.[7july2008]. oing airport with the whole class.

i LOVe my lovelies.
bia for my test.

{ 7:29 PM }

Saturday, July 5, 2008.

today generally --> okok nearing to great!

went shopping with mum today...went chinatown with the goal of getting a skirt for dance sport. but hey! everything in chinatown cheap cheap!!! so bought a biz top and a bag. anything but the skirt... haha.

and ya...WHY DID I NOT KNOW?! WHO INFORMED U PPL?! i was seriously getting pissed abt it. and n????? is there a reason as to y u din tell me? like i am seriously pissed.

i LOVe my lovelies.
pissed now. dont talk to me.yap yap yap.

{ 9:45 AM }

Thursday, July 3, 2008.

today generally --> almost great!

{ 7:30 AM }